By Carrie Rohrbach, M.Ed.
COSEM Operational Team & Board Member
Graduate Assistant, Writing Consultant & Doctoral Student
Communication is complex, varied, and far more nuanced than most people recognize. When we think of “mindful communication”, we usually consider how we speak or write ideas. There are resources available that advocate for strategies to effectively communicate both in and outside of the classroom (some favorites include Fierce Conversations and Conscious Classroom Management). Instead, this piece focuses on the subtle means of communication that we can examine with presence, curiosity, and self-inquiry. Since we are considering the “seeds” of mindful communication, we are starting with the smaller yet profound ways we communicate that transcend spoken and written words.
Consider the following situations: A student exceeds expectations and our face lights up. We charge into a meeting with administration and slam our hands on the table. We wait the allowable 24 hours before returning a parent email. What do our faces, bodies, and silence communicate? If you recognize that each is an expression of our emotions, you’re right! Our facial expressions, body language, and even silence express more than words could ever convey. Whether we are aware of what our face, bodies, and hands are saying, they speak for us. Our face lighting up may indicate pride. Entering a room with forceful body language can convey anger. Choosing to maximize our response time may communicate reluctance.
Without saying a word, the emotions expressed through our bodies are the seeds that sprout mindful communication. Liu, Schwab, and Hess (2023) suggest that facial expressions play a more dominant role in how we perceive emotions than using adjectives or adverbs. Supporting this idea is that “both spoken and bodily cues, whether in concert or independently, influence the expression and perception of emotions” (Aslan, Öser, & Gökson, 2024). In confrontations, silence usually functions as a protective measure against potential emotional breakdowns (Rauch & Ansari, 2024). It is incredible to think of the ways in which we convey emotions without conscious awareness!
The flip side of mindful communication is how our facial expressions, body language, and silence are perceived by those on the receiving end. While we cannot control others’ thoughts or feelings, we can acknowledge and take responsibility for how we impact others. Educators intend to form strong relationships built on unconditional acceptance and relationships are built on communication. Imagine if a teacher rolled their eyes at a student’s success? Or if we entered that administrator meeting with upright shoulders and confidence? Or if we fired off an initial emotionally charged response to that parent?
To water the seeds of mindful communication, we need to develop presence, curiosity, and self-inquiry around how our internal systems are communicating with us. Whether it’s heat in the cheeks to signify embarrassment, a lurch in the stomach for dread, or uproarious laughter signaling amusement, we learn to be mindful interpreters of what our bodies express. This may elicit some discomfort that our brains that spend so much time coming up with the “right” words can only convey so much when it comes to authentic and mindful communication.
This is a gentle invitation to pause with that feeling, knowing that all emotions come and go. While “there is substantial variability between persons, emotions, or episodes of the same emotion in how long the episode lasts,” it is understood that if we allow emotions to be processed in real time, they can last for a few seconds to a few minutes (Lange, 2023). It’s when we ruminate (get stuck in repetitive thought patterns), project (attribute our thoughts or feelings to others), or are already in an amplified or depressed emotional state, that these emotions last much longer. There is research that suggests “the head, throat and chest are the most consistently detected locations across and within numerous emotional contexts,” which can account for how our bodies communicate emotions without conscious awareness (Davey, Halberstadt, & Bell, 2021). So what do we do about our faces, bodies, and hands when we communicate? How can silence become our ally rather than our enemy?
Here are a few effective ways to become attuned to the emotions in our bodies to be more mindful communicators:
Take time.
We live in a society that prioritizes urgency so we never feel like we have enough time. Mindfulness is our biggest ally. Before reacting in an emotional state, pause, breathe, and allow the emotion to recede. It may be as simple as, “I need [a set amount of time] to consider. Can I follow up with you [at this specific time]?” When we model this behavior it empowers others to do the same.
Record yourself.
Tell a story to your phone, practice a presentation in a solo Zoom session, or stand in front of a mirror while delivering an impassioned speech. Note what your face, body and hands are doing throughout and consider how you may subtly shift your communication.
Dance, sing, walk!
After an emotional experience, take a one to four minute movement break to give the head, throat, and chest an opportunity to release. Dance it out! Sing in the car! Go outside and remember we are part of a much larger ecosystem of care!
Watering the seeds of mindful communication is as simple and complex as attuning to ourselves to gain a deeper awareness of how we communicate through our faces, bodies, and silence. Taking time to become acquainted with these responses will enrich our relationships with others, but more importantly, with ourselves.
About the Author
Carrie is pursuing her doctorate in education in Transformative Action in Education at The University of the Pacific. She works as a graduate assistant for the Learning, Leadership and Change Programs and is a writing consultant for the on-campus writing center. Carrie is passionate about empowering educators to take charge of their own wellness to subvert the education system.
Follow Carrie on
IG: @empowering.educator
References
Aslan, Z., Özer, D., & Göksun, T. (2024). Exploring Emotions Through Co-speech Gestures: The Caveats and New Directions. Emotion Review, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/17540739241277820
Davey, S., Halberstadt, J., Bell, E. (2021). Where is emotional feeling felt in the body? An integrative review. PLoS ONE, 16(12). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0261685
Lange J. (2023). Embedding Research on Emotion Duration in a Network Model. Affective science, 4(3), 541–549. https://doi.org/10.1007/s42761-023-00203-3
Liu, M., Schwab, J., & Hess, U. (2023). Language and face in interactions: emotion perception, social meanings, and communicative intentions. Frontiers in Psychology, 14. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1146494
Rauch, M. and Ansari, S.S. (2024), Reframing Silence as Purposeful: Emotions in Extreme Contexts. Journal of Management Studies. https://doi.org/10.1111/joms.13079
Scott, S. (2004). Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time. Berkeley.
Smith, R. & Dearborn, G. (2016). Conscious Classroom Management Second Edition Unlocking the Secrets of Great Teaching. Conscious Teaching LLC.
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